Optional night Prayer as a barrier to the spouses having sexual intercourse

Question 36: My husband asks me to stay up at night with him, but I refuse to do this as I like to maintain Qiyaam-ul-Layl (optional Prayer at night), which is why I tend to sleep early. Is this counted as an act of disobedience to my husband?

Answer: You should obey your husband in Ma`roof (that which is judged as good, beneficial, or fitting by Islaamic law and Muslims of sound intellect), but if he asks you to stay up at night with him in a way that prevents you from offering Fajr prayer (Dawn prayer) or asks you to watch whatever is Munkar (that which is unacceptable or disapproved of by Islaamic law and Muslims of sound intellect), in this case you should not obey him. Otherwise, he should be obeyed in anything else even if this results in missing Qiyaam-ul-Layl, for it is a Sunnah (supererogatory act of worship following the example of the Prophet), but obeying the husband is an obligation... read more here.

Woman deserting her husband’s bed

Question 35: Is it permissible for a wife to refuse having sexual intercourse with her husband when he desires it? What is the ruling if she refuses merely out of stubbornness?

Answer: It is not permissible for a wife to disobey her husband when he wishes to be intimate with her except for a Shar`ee (Islaamically lawful) reason, such as menstruation. It is related in the Two Saheeh (authentic) Books of Hadeeth (i.e. Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim) on the authority of Aboo Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said... read more here.

Husband neglecting his wife’s rights

Question 10: I am a Muslim woman from Pakistan. I am twenty-seven years old, and I have a Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery. I married two years ago, and I do not have any children. I have been living with my motherin Saudi Arabia since 1394 A.H., except for the years of my university study that I spent outside Saudi Arabia. My mother is divorced and lives with her father. I met my husband while studying in college. He is a graduate of the same Faculty of Medicine where I graduated in Pakistan. We got married when he was in the intern year, which fresh graduate doctors should pass by working in a certified hospital in return for no salary. My husband did not have the financial ability to sustain me and provide me with a suitable home, as he had neither a separate home nor a permanent source of living, so I decided to return to Saudi Arabia to live with my mother, after taking my husband’s permission. We hoped to find a job for my husband in Saudi Arabia after finishing his internship, so that we could live together, but things did not work out as we had planned, and we failed. My husband could not enter Saudi Arabia to get a job there. Moreover, he did not exert any efforts to get a job in Pakistan to sustain himself; even the temporary jobs he managed to get he left to search for other ones.A year ago, he decided not to search for a job anymore, and he preferred to stay at home and continue his postgraduate studies. He has taken the exam three times until now, but he failed every time. He neither has a job to sustain himself, nor has he passed the exam to continue his postgraduate studies, and he is unable to meet his obligations towards me as his wife.

Since our marriage, he has borrowed 80,000 Pakistani rupees from me, with the intention of repaying it when he can. However, he sent me a letter recently telling me that he cannot repay the debt, which he has promised me to repay, at all.

My husband’s family never consented to our marriage. During the first days of our marriage, a fight took place between my husband and his brother, and they used knives. My husband was stabbed by his brother and was on the verge of death. However, he told me that this fight had nothing to do with our marriage, but it had to do with family affairs. Then, my mother-in-law decided to dismiss my husband from the house. The family members have, finally, reunited,but they do not accept me as their daughter-in-law until this moment.

My husband’s financial circumstances do not allow him to provide me with Nafaqah (obligatory financial support); he does not care about my financial, physical, and emotional needs; in addition to his great dependence on me in financial matters. I have also figured out that he is an irresponsible man.

My husband’s family is violent, harsh, and irritable. They are also dissatisfied with my marriage to their son, which means that living with this family might cause me harm and jeopardize my safety. There is no guarantee that they will not harm me if I move to live with them, as my husband does not have a separate house. I have recently felt deep hatred for my husband for the previous reasons, which caused me to ask him for Talaq (divorce pronounced by a husband) many times, but he refused.

Your Eminence, my problem can be summed up in the following points:

First, my husband has not been able to provide me with Nafaqah since our marriage, which was two years ago.

Second, there is no hope that my husband gets a job in the near future to provide a means of living for me.

Third, my safety will be jeopardized if I live with my husband’s family in the same house.

Fourth, my family’s conditions force me to live with my mother who has been divorced since 1408 A.H.; she has two other daughters; and she does not receive any financial support from my father.

Fifth, I have no source of living to sustain me, as I have not got a job yet.

Sixth, the years pass quickly, and I am a woman who wants to have a family, children, and a husband that supports me.

Seventh, I now hate my husband to the extent that I cannot fulfill my duties towards him.

Eighth, can I ask for Talaq from my husband?

Ninth, what is the most suitable attitude my husband should take concerning my request for Talaaq? Al-salaamu `alaykum warahmatullaah wabarakaatuh (May Allaah’s Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

Answer: If the reality is as you mentioned, you have right to ask for Talaaq, and you are not committing a sin for this… read more here.

A woman asking for money to have intimate relations with her husband

Question 9: Whenever I ask my wife to come to my bed for intercourse, she refuses unless I give her a sum of money. I have two children from her, and I do not have the means to give her a sum of money every time. I am a manual worker and my work just covers the daily expenses of my house. I find it difficult to meet the extra financial demands of my wife. I do not want to earn a fortune; all I want is to please Allaah and enter Jannah (Paradise) that Allaah (Exalted be He) has prepared for the pious people. We ask Allaah (Exalted be He) not to deprive us of it. I have advised my wife that her attitude is completely wrong and Haraam (prohibited), yet she remains stubborn, and she even mocks me. Please advise, may Allaah reward you and safeguard you for the Muslims.

Answer: It is the spouses’ duty to keep good company with one another. Allaah (Exalted be He) says: …and live with them honourably. He also says: And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) according to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.… read more here.