Remarrying although first wife is not negligent

Question 12: I have been married for five years now to a righteous man, all praise be to Allaah. We have four children and we lead a happy life, all praise be to Allaah. However, after I had this fourth girl, my husband married another woman at a time when I was really in need of him. He said that he did not marry her out of any negligence on my part, but to maintain the Sunnah (supererogatory act of worship following the example of the Prophet) of polygamy and to have many children. I could not bear it. When he married this woman, I did nothing but be patient and seek the reward from Allaah (Exalted be He), while I was torn inside. The whole matter affects my health and the baby’s, although many days have passed and no one but Allaah (Exalted be He) knows how I feel. I wishyou could guide me to the right solution that does not involve me committing a sin. Can I ask him to leave me, despite the four children we have? Should I ask him to leave her while she is pregnant? What is ruling on that? Will I bear a sin for asking him to leave her and will he bear a sin if he leaves her? Note that at one point, I visited her in the Kingdom and asked her to leave him, explaining that I cannot bear it. She told me that my reaction is natural and that after a while, I will get used to it and feel nothing. The exact opposite happened, each day my bitterness and pain increase. What should I do?

Answer: If your husband is as you mentioned a righteous man whose company is good and you have some children, we advise you to be patient and remain with your husband, if you have nothing else against him. You have to be good company for him and help him to fulfill his duties and to save your children from separation and its effects. Beware not to say or do anything that offends him or his wife, and if you do, hasten to apologize. If your husband or his other wife offend you in any way, try to be patient and reproach them in a friendly way. May Allaah guide you all to be good companions to one another and help you build this family and raise your children on the Islaamic morals... read more here.

Objecting to polygamy

Question 11: My mother is afflicted with a disease that left her disabled. As a result, she cannot fulfill her marital duties. My father sought treatment for her inside as well as outside the Kingdom but to no avail, which led him to marry another woman to keep himself chaste. He is a healthy man, all praise be to Allaah. As his sons, we approve of his marriage as long as our mother is still his wife and lives among us. One day, my maternal aunt came to visit and asked to take my mother (her sister) to live with her for a month for the purpose of treatment. After the month, my aunt was informed of my father’s marriage and when we asked her to return my mother since her condition had not changed, she absolutely refused. My maternal aunt and some of my uncles were against my father’s marriage to another woman. When we asked her about the reasons of her disapproval, she said that my father would better commit Zinaa (sexual intercourse outside marriage) and not marry another woman, for then he would be accountable for his sins. Some of my uncles said that if things were the other way round, my mother would not have the right to ask for divorce to marry another man. I would like to note that we brought our mother by force, fearing that my father would divorce her. During the course of the dispute with my aunt and uncles, I raised my hand to slap my aunt but I sought refuge with Allaah (Exalted be He) from Satan and I did not do it, all praise be to Allaah. Now we live happily and contentedly with my mother. One week after the dispute, I went to my aunt to apologize to her and to keep my ties with her but she refused to answer my greeting. Two weeks later, I visited her again and she received me coldly. It is worth mentioning that I live in the city of Baqeeq. My aunt and uncles stopped visiting us in our house except when I take my mother to the other house which is in Al-Ahsaa’. I live with my father and brothers in the same house in Baqeeq, while my aunt and uncles live in Al-Ahsaa’. I have another house near them in Al-Ahsaa’ in which I stay for three days each month. My aunt would come and visit my mother alone and stay for half an hour or more with her before she would leave. As for my uncles who were against my father’s marriage, they have not seen my mother for a whole year now while others visit her every month or two. I want to stress that my aunt does not visit us in our house in Baqeeq and if we do not go to the other house for a while, she does not see her sister all this time. Before, she used to come every two or three weeks to visit us. I hope your Eminence would answer my following questions:

1. As their nephews, what is our stance toward our aunt and uncles? Now, they do not like my father at all, should my brothers and I keep our ties with them or sever them until they solve their problem with our father? To be honest, my father has not asked us to sever our ties with them, on the contrary, he urges me to visit them. However, they do not respect my father and when I visit them, they do not welcome me heartily and lovingly. I have tried to make peace between my aunt and uncles and my father to regain our previous relations but nothing has changed.

2. What is the ruling on marrying four women? When is it permissible for a Muslim to marry four women?

3. What is the punishment for someone who urges or advises others to commit Zinaa in order not to marry another wife, may Allaah save us?

4. What is ruling on my aunt and uncles’ stance in this whole matter? Is their response to my father’s marriage right or wrong?

Answer: If the reality is as you mentioned, First, you have to keep good ties with your kin – your aunt and uncles – even if they cut you off and do not visit you in return or receive you coldly. You will be rewarded for keeping good ties with them and they will bear the sin of cutting you off... read more here.

Wisdom behind the permissibility of polygamy

Question 3: Why does Islaam permit polygamy, i.e. That a man may marry two, three, or four wives at the same time. What are the conditions, characteristics, and advantages of such permissibility? How can we refute the allegations of those who doubt the permissibility of polygamy?

Answer: It is Allaah (Exalted be He) Who makes it Mubaah (permissible) for a Muslim to marry up to four wives if he is able to fulfill their rights, is sure that he can do justice between them, and does not fear of being unjust. Thus Allaah (Exalted be He) revealed to His Messenger (peace be upon him): And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.… read more here.

Prohibition of marrying more than four wives simultaneously

Question 2: There is evidence in the Qur’aan that a Muslim man is not allowed to marry more than four wives at a time. Why did the Messenger (peace be upon him) not abide by this,by marrying more than four wives?

Answer: The Glorious Qur’aan that permitted Muslims, who are sure they will be just to their wives, to marry up to four wives, and not more, is the same Book that permitted the Prophet (peace be upon him) to marry more than four wives at the same time. The two rulings are parts of Allaah’s Sharee`ah (Islaamic law) and are not based on inclination or sexual desires. Allaah (Exalted be He) says… read more here.

Why did the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) have more than one wife?

Question 1: Why did the Messenger of Allaah (may peace and blessings be upon him) have more than one wife?

Answer: With Allaah is the Perfect Wisdom. It is His Wisdom that He (Glorified be He) madpolygamye it Mubaah (permissible) for men to marry more than one wife, whether in the previous Sharee`ahs (Divine laws) or in the Sharee`ah (Islaamic law) that was revealed to our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Polygamy was not thus peculiar to our Prophet (peace be upon him). Rather, Ya`qoob (Jacob, peace be upon him) had two wives. Also, Sulaymaan (Solomon, peace be upon him) married ninety nine wives at the same time, and he had sexual intercourse with all of them on the same night hoping that Allaah would grant him a son from each one of his wives that would fight for the cause of Allaah… read more here.

Islaamic ruling on those who renounce polygyny

In the Name of Allaah. May peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allaah.

I have reviewed the article published in Al-Yamaamah magazine, issue dated 18 Rabee` Awwal, 1385 A.H. entitled The problem of the week, and read the solution offered by Mr. Naasir ibn `Abdullaah for the problem of sister M. A. L. referred to in the issue of 11 Rabee` Awwal, 1385 A.H., under the title:

Take me to light

I also read the solution presented by Ibn Al-Sarah for the same problem. Thus, I discovered that what was written by Mr. Naasir was a good solution that conforms to the right and should be adopted by the sister facing this problem. She should adhere to good manners, noble character, and graceful patience, and thus, she would overcome all the difficulties and would see good consequences.

If she suffers harm and injustice at the hand of her husband, she should gently, amiably, and patiently ask him to set matters fairly. We wish she could realize her request and stay home with her husband, for this is nearest to justice In-Shaa’ Allaah (if Allaah wills).

Yet, if the harm is inflicted by her co-wife, then the husband should prevent this harm providing a separate place for the wronged wife with the necessary maintenance and finding a female companion for her if she cannot stay at home alone. The husband should also be objective, seek fairness, and keep away from all forms of harm; otherwise – and in case none of his relatives or friends could solve the problem – she has nothing left to do but to take the matter to court.

Before that, however, she should supplicate to Allaah (Exalted be He) and sincerely ask Him to relieve her of her distress, facilitate her affairs, and guide her husband and co-wife to what is right and fair… read more here.

Wisdom behind Prophet Muhammad’s practice of polygyny

Question 16: Wisdom behind Prophet Muhammad’s practice of polygyny.

Answer: The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) married to several wives following his migration to Al-Madeenah. His practice of polygyny was not something novel, as polygyny was widely practiced by all people and nations. Some societies allowed unlimited number of wives until some men had more than seven hundred wives, not including slave women. Some Arabs were reported to have taken in marriage more than ten wives. When Ghaylan ibn Salamah Al-Thaqafee embraced Islaam, he was married to ten wives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed him, saying: Choose four of them (and divorce the rest).

Polygamy was also practiced by the ancient Greeks in Athens, China, Babylonia, Assyria, ancient Egypt, and the Jews were also polygamous. Prophet Sulaymaan (Solomon, peace be upon him) had seven hundred free women as wives and three hundred slave women. Al-Bukhaaree related in his Saheeh (authentic) Book of more here.