Question 13: I was at the age of thirty when my mother was living with me and I was supporting her and providing everything she asked for. However, she (may Allaah be merciful to her) was very short-tempered to the extent that she would always quarrel with me for the slightest reason. Sometimes, I would get angry at her words and her yelling at me that I yelled back at her and said inappropriate things.
Although she died around twenty years ago, I still cry and my conscience still pricks me, makes me sleepless, and casts a shadow. I shall cry for the great sin I committed against my mother and atone for it until I die. I have performed Hajj twice on behalf of my mother and a third one for her mother, paid Sadaqah (voluntary charity) on her behalf, and dedicated part of the revenue from my palm-trees for the Sake of Allaah, on her behalf.
Will my Tawbah (repentance to Allaah) be accepted? What other deeds can I do to dedicate to her their Thawab (reward from Allaah) and what are the conditions of Tawbah for someone whose parents have died?
Answer: First: You have done wrong by yelling at your mother and speaking inappropriately to her, because this is an act of undutifulness (impiety) to parents. Allaah obligated to be dutiful to parents and forbade impiety towards them in His Book and on the tongue of His Messenger (peace be upon him). You have done right to regret what you did and make Tawbah for it. We ask Allaah to accept your Tawbah and forgive your sin... read more here.