Wife seeking her husband’s forgiveness for her mistakes

Question 52: My father consulted my mother and bought seven goats for milk. My mother is the first lady of the house, taking care of everything in it. She was also responsible for feeding and giving water to the goats we raise, as part of her management of the entire house affairs. She was keen not to let the goats suffer hunger so that she may not become liable because of this. She sometimes preferred that another lady of the household, including her daughters and her three step-daughters, do these tasks on her behalf, but she did not order any of them to do so. One day in Ramadaan, we did not have Suhur (pre-dawn meal before the Fast) for loss of appetite, and since my mother suffers non-chronic asthma she got angry. Also, the goats entered some rooms of the house that contained our belongings. My mother got so angry because of what the goats did and due to the uncooperative attitude of some family members.

As a result, my mother cursed the goats and the person who brought them. Then, she invoked curses upon herself if she were to look after these goats or feed them again. All these things took place under the influence of the pricks of hunger due to fasting. On the following day, she retracted her saying and resumed feeding, watering and taking care of the goats out of fear of Allaah. My father was also angry with my mother when he heard her cursing. He deserted her and remained alone in one corner of the house because he thought that it was no longer suitable to live with her after the curses she invoked.

We are a large family, and it is difficult for us to experience disputes between our parents and my father’s desertion of my mother. I sold some of the goats and my father left their price with me, and the rest of the goats are still available in the house. Your Eminence, it is too difficult for us to see disputes between my parents. My father’s isolation caused me to file the case to your Eminence immediately through the head of Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (CPVPV) in Banu `Amr through Abha. He is the only person whom I informed about the case, and I hope that my papers will be submitted and returned to me through him. Do any of my parents incur anything in this story? We want to settle this dispute. May Allaah keep you doing righteous deeds.

Answer: If the case is as you have mentioned, it is obligatory on your mother to seek forgiveness from Allaah and repent to Him from the curses she invoked. She must ask pardon of your father. After that, there is nothing due on her, whether the goats remained in your house or were sold. There would be no harm on her if she feeds them later. We advise her to reunite with your father and behave in a good manner. There is no blame on your father to be intimate with your mother, as the invocation of curses does not end their husband-wife relationship, nor does it take the ruling of divorce. Also, there is no blame on keeping the goats, because cursing them by your mother does not cancel your father’s ownership of them... read more here.

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