Husband neglecting his wife’s rights

Question 10: I am a Muslim woman from Pakistan. I am twenty-seven years old, and I have a Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery. I married two years ago, and I do not have any children. I have been living with my motherin Saudi Arabia since 1394 A.H., except for the years of my university study that I spent outside Saudi Arabia. My mother is divorced and lives with her father. I met my husband while studying in college. He is a graduate of the same Faculty of Medicine where I graduated in Pakistan. We got married when he was in the intern year, which fresh graduate doctors should pass by working in a certified hospital in return for no salary. My husband did not have the financial ability to sustain me and provide me with a suitable home, as he had neither a separate home nor a permanent source of living, so I decided to return to Saudi Arabia to live with my mother, after taking my husband’s permission. We hoped to find a job for my husband in Saudi Arabia after finishing his internship, so that we could live together, but things did not work out as we had planned, and we failed. My husband could not enter Saudi Arabia to get a job there. Moreover, he did not exert any efforts to get a job in Pakistan to sustain himself; even the temporary jobs he managed to get he left to search for other ones.A year ago, he decided not to search for a job anymore, and he preferred to stay at home and continue his postgraduate studies. He has taken the exam three times until now, but he failed every time. He neither has a job to sustain himself, nor has he passed the exam to continue his postgraduate studies, and he is unable to meet his obligations towards me as his wife.

Since our marriage, he has borrowed 80,000 Pakistani rupees from me, with the intention of repaying it when he can. However, he sent me a letter recently telling me that he cannot repay the debt, which he has promised me to repay, at all.

My husband’s family never consented to our marriage. During the first days of our marriage, a fight took place between my husband and his brother, and they used knives. My husband was stabbed by his brother and was on the verge of death. However, he told me that this fight had nothing to do with our marriage, but it had to do with family affairs. Then, my mother-in-law decided to dismiss my husband from the house. The family members have, finally, reunited,but they do not accept me as their daughter-in-law until this moment.

My husband’s financial circumstances do not allow him to provide me with Nafaqah (obligatory financial support); he does not care about my financial, physical, and emotional needs; in addition to his great dependence on me in financial matters. I have also figured out that he is an irresponsible man.

My husband’s family is violent, harsh, and irritable. They are also dissatisfied with my marriage to their son, which means that living with this family might cause me harm and jeopardize my safety. There is no guarantee that they will not harm me if I move to live with them, as my husband does not have a separate house. I have recently felt deep hatred for my husband for the previous reasons, which caused me to ask him for Talaq (divorce pronounced by a husband) many times, but he refused.

Your Eminence, my problem can be summed up in the following points:

First, my husband has not been able to provide me with Nafaqah since our marriage, which was two years ago.

Second, there is no hope that my husband gets a job in the near future to provide a means of living for me.

Third, my safety will be jeopardized if I live with my husband’s family in the same house.

Fourth, my family’s conditions force me to live with my mother who has been divorced since 1408 A.H.; she has two other daughters; and she does not receive any financial support from my father.

Fifth, I have no source of living to sustain me, as I have not got a job yet.

Sixth, the years pass quickly, and I am a woman who wants to have a family, children, and a husband that supports me.

Seventh, I now hate my husband to the extent that I cannot fulfill my duties towards him.

Eighth, can I ask for Talaq from my husband?

Ninth, what is the most suitable attitude my husband should take concerning my request for Talaaq? Al-salaamu `alaykum warahmatullaah wabarakaatuh (May Allaah’s Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

Answer: If the reality is as you mentioned, you have right to ask for Talaaq, and you are not committing a sin for this… read more here.