Spouses staying in a separate a country

Question 10: Is it permissible for me to stay with my family in my country while my husband is in another country and he accepts this situation?

Answer: Yes, it is permissible for you to stay with your family in their country while your husband is in another country as long as he accepts this situation… read more here.

A husband sending for his wife to join him abroad

Question 9: I have been living in Saudi Arabia for one year and three months. I would like to send for my wife to come to Saudi Arabia where I would like to settle, but my mother, brothers, and relatives live in my country. Is it permissible for me to leave them there without visiting them? It should be noted that I write to them and send them as much money as I can. Also, many abominable acts and Bidd`ahs (innovations in religion) are committed in my country; for example, the people there only offer the Maghrib (Sunset) and `Ishaa’ (Night) Prayers in congregation. Please advise, may Allaah reward you best.

Answer: Sending for your wife to come to you abroad has many benefits. There is no problem if you delay your visit to your mother and brothers as long as you send them letters and money… read more here.

Wife hating her father-in-law

Question 8: I have a wife who lives in a separate house away from my parents whom she deeply hates. She does not even like them to come to the house. It should be noted that she has four children. When my parents visit me, she does not serve them. It is I who serve them food, which I actually buy from restaurants, make them coffee, and prepare their beds. I do not let them feel my wife’s dislike for them. When they ask me about her, I tell them that she and I had a quarrel. I do not want them to feel that she hates them.

Please advise me. What should I do as regards my parents, this wife, and the children who are torn between their motherand me? Since I do not want to offend my wife, I would like to give her advice through your Fatwaa’ (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar). I will give the Fatwaa’ to one of her brothers to read it to her as she is illiterate. Al-salaamu `alaykum warahmatullaah wabarakaatuh (May Allaah’s Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you)

Answer: Both the spouses should fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted be He) and do their duties towards each other in kindness. They should both be kind to their in-laws in order to create intimacy and become a close-knit family. Allaah (Exalted be He) says: …and live with them honourably. He (Glorified be He) also says… read more here.

Wife’s kindness to the parents-in-law as an act of good companionship

Question 7: Is it the husband’s right that his wife should treat his parents kindly and be dutiful to them even if they are not Muslims? It should be noted that they live in a separate apartment away from his family and she visits them occasionally. We appreciate your advice. May Allaah reward you best.

Answer: A Muslim woman is required to treat people kindly, whether they are in-laws or anyone else, and this is highly stressed when it comes to her husband’s parents because this strengthens the marital bond and helps the husband express dutifulness to his parents… read more here.

Wife serving her husband’s parents, her in-laws and husband’s relatives

Question 6: I have a seventy-year-old mother who lives in Syria. I am her only male child. I left the country three years ago. Please keep in mind the difficult conditions prevailing in the country, especially in the distressed governorate of Hamah. Of course, the news reached you about it. That is why I prefer not to travel there. However, my mother lives there alone. Last month, she was afflicted with a disease that has made her incapable of moving. My mother wishes that I send my wife to Syria to help her during this painful sickness. My wife does not want to travel because of the difficult conditions there and because of her four children who are unable to help themselves. Even more, one of those children is young and requires continuous care, especially that he is sick and needs special care. Moreover, she does not want to travel alone. I am intending to send my wife with the teachers who will travel to Syria at the end of this school year, but my wife does not want to. The question is: Is there any obligation in Sharee`ah (Islaamic law) that a wife should nurse her mother-in-law? If my wife does not travel, will I be undutiful to my mother who may be angry at me because of this?

Answer: First, there is nothing in Sharee`ah that obligates a wife to help her mother-in-law, except if she does this out of her kindness, capability, and good treatment to her husband and for the sake of establishing ties with her husband’s relatives. Second, your wife is excused if she does not travel to your mother for fear of the difficult conditions and dangers prevailing in the country where your mother lives. There is no sin on you if she does not want to travel even if your mother is angry. You have to be dutiful to your mother in other ways as much as you can. For example, you can bring her to live with you, send her money to hire someone to serve her, or do any other thing within your capabilities… read more here.

Ruling on the tradition of Fak Al-Wizrah

Question 5: After concluding the marriage contract and paying the Mahr (mandatory gift to a bride from her groom), and before the consummation of marriage, the wife stipulates that the husband gives her a sum of money that sometimes reaches 15,000 riyals in return for deflowering her. They call this tradition Fak al-Wizrah. We would like Your Eminence to issue a Fatwaa’ (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar) as regards this tradition that is unfortunately common among some tribes. We also need your advice to those who exaggerate in demanding Mahr so we can send it to the tribal members; as they think this is lawful and even boast of having a large Mahr.

Answer: The mentioned tradition of (Fak Al-Wizrah) is a bad and impermissible practice. Once a husband concludes the marriage contract and pays the Mahr, he has the full right to have sexual intercourse with his wife. Consequently, it is unlawful for a wife to refuse to allow her husband to have sexual intercourse with her before paying her a specific sum of money in addition to the Mahr. It is a communal duty for the people of the tribe to cooperate and give mutual advice as regards ending this habit and they should adhere to the rulings of the pure Sharee`ah (Islaamic law) as regards Mahr… read more here.

Fasting in the presence of the husband

Question 4: I am a religiously committed woman. I observe Sawm (Fast) in Ramadaan, the six days of Shawwaal, the White Days (13th, 14th, and 15th of every Hijree month), in addition to Mondays and Thursdays. When I intend to observe Sawm during such days, I ask for my husband’s permission first. At the beginning he agrees, but after a while he gets angry and exclaims: “Every day Sawm, Sawm!” In this case, is it permissible for me to observe Sawm or not?

Answer: It is not permissible for you to observe supererogatory Sawm in the presence of your husband without his permission, because of his rights as a husband… read more here.

What are the husband’s obligations towards his wife?

Question 3: What are the husband’s obligations towards his wife?

Answer: A husband has to take care of his wife, protect her, and support her financially. Allaah (Exalted be He) says: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.… read more here.

Treating the wife as an act of good companionship

Question 2: Is it obligatory for a husband to pay for his wife’s medical expenses, just as he is obligated to support her?

Answer: If a man pays the costs of his wife’s medical treatment, this comes under the description of good companionship and doing good, which Allaah has ordered us to observe. Allaah (Exalted be He) says: …and do good. Truly, Allaah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good-doers).… read more here.

Fuqahaa’ (Muslim jurists) difference concerning wife’s treatment

Question 1: Is a person obliged to seek treatment for his wife and finance her medical expenses if she becomes ill, just as he is obligated to support and clothe her? Is there a definite Nas (Islaamic text from the Qur’aan or the Sunnah) that states this?

Answer: There is a disagreement between Fuqahaa’ (Muslim jurists) concerning the husband’s obligation to finance the medical expenses of his wife if she becomes ill. Some of them consider it as obligatory as feeding and clothing her, while others do not consider it obligatory, which is the more correct opinion. He does this out of his noble manners and good companionship. Ibn Qudaamah said in his book “Al-Mughnee”: He (a husband) is not obliged to pay for the medicine and the doctor’s fees (for his wife), because this is meant to fix the body, so it is not obligatory for him, just like it is not obligatory for a tenant to fix the destroyed parts in the house and to maintain it. The same applies to the fees of Hijaamah (cupping) and phlebotomy… read more here.