Meaning of fondling one’s wife during Sawm

Question: I am a thirty-year-old young man. I am married and have children, praise be to Allaah. I am, praise be to Allaah, punctual in performing Obligatory Prayers. During Ramadaan, I offer `Ishaa’ (Night) Prayer, Taraaweeh (special supererogatory night Prayer in Ramadan), and Tahajjud (optional late night Prayer) in Al-Masjid Al-Nabawee (the Prophet’s Mosque in Madeenah).

One Ramadaan night, however, after performing Tahajjud I went shopping and all of a sudden saw a woman of great charm. To be honest, I was charmed by her but I sought refuge with Allaah from the accursed Satan and went home without committing any sin. Anyway, it was in vain to try to sleep after performing Fajr (Dawn) Prayer as I was totally obsessed by the image of this woman. Meanwhile, my wife was lying beside me and I started foreplay with her with the woman’s picture in my mind. To clarify more, my penis was at that moment between the thighs of my wife which caused me unconsciously to ejaculate. Upon this, I wished I had disappeared off the face of the earth before this could have happened. Please guide me, what should I do?

Actually, I made up for this day but I was told that I have to fast, in addition, for two consecutive months, which I cannot afford.

Please, tell me in detail about the Kaffaarah (expiation). Is it permissible for me to pay the value of food to be given to the poor in cash? If yes, how much does a Saa` (1 Saa`=3 kg. Approx.) equal in riyals. Please, answer me as soon as possible because I am so confused and Satan whispers many evil thoughts – Allaah only knows how evil they are – to me. May Allaah reward you with the best.

Answer: Fast during Ramadaan does not stand for only abstaining from eating and drinking. Rather, it also entails that all the body organs fast, i.e., abstain from all things prohibited by Allaah. Thus, a tongue should fast and abstain from backbiting, gossip, and lying... read more here.

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