Remarrying although first wife is not negligent

Question 12: I have been married for five years now to a righteous man, all praise be to Allaah. We have four children and we lead a happy life, all praise be to Allaah. However, after I had this fourth girl, my husband married another woman at a time when I was really in need of him. He said that he did not marry her out of any negligence on my part, but to maintain the Sunnah (supererogatory act of worship following the example of the Prophet) of polygamy and to have many children. I could not bear it. When he married this woman, I did nothing but be patient and seek the reward from Allaah (Exalted be He), while I was torn inside. The whole matter affects my health and the baby’s, although many days have passed and no one but Allaah (Exalted be He) knows how I feel. I wishyou could guide me to the right solution that does not involve me committing a sin. Can I ask him to leave me, despite the four children we have? Should I ask him to leave her while she is pregnant? What is ruling on that? Will I bear a sin for asking him to leave her and will he bear a sin if he leaves her? Note that at one point, I visited her in the Kingdom and asked her to leave him, explaining that I cannot bear it. She told me that my reaction is natural and that after a while, I will get used to it and feel nothing. The exact opposite happened, each day my bitterness and pain increase. What should I do?

Answer: If your husband is as you mentioned a righteous man whose company is good and you have some children, we advise you to be patient and remain with your husband, if you have nothing else against him. You have to be good company for him and help him to fulfill his duties and to save your children from separation and its effects. Beware not to say or do anything that offends him or his wife, and if you do, hasten to apologize. If your husband or his other wife offend you in any way, try to be patient and reproach them in a friendly way. May Allaah guide you all to be good companions to one another and help you build this family and raise your children on the Islaamic morals... read more here.

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